Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Sun

The days of winter are very short. I wake up and take Charlie out before the sun rises, get in the car before the sun rises, drive to work before the sun rises, and then arrive at work before the sun rises.

If I am teaching Phys. Ed. that day I spend the whole school day in a room with no windows. I leave at 3:30 and by 5:30 the sun is gone. 2 hours of sun everyday. It's not nearly enough.

Sunday and Saturday are my only 2 days to fully enjoy the sun. I open all the blinds and leave every light off. While that helps my electric bill, the real reason I do it is because I love the sun. I love the warmth and the light. Charlie loves it too. She sits in the window sill and starts panting because the sun is so warm.

I love these days. Just getting to sit and enjoy the sun. I like doing my projects by the light of the beautiful sun instead of trying to see the slightest details with the horrible lighting in my apartment.

So now I'm going to go, and I'm going to enjoy the last few hours of the beautiful sunlight I get today.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Little Things

I've never been one to celebrate each and every holiday, but I've found that it makes living in a white-walled apartment that much easier. It's the little things that make all the difference when white walls surround and encompass my mornings, evenings, and weekends. I decided that since Valentine's was the next legit holiday I might as well celebrate it. I didn't spend too much money, just enough to have decorations that take up space and make small amounts of the white disappear.

The banners say Happy Valentine's. Of course the pictures look horrible on my camera so there's no picture of them hanging. Here is a picture of it laying on Charlie. She decided to lay where I was working - so she became part of the work bench.

I also bought a cake stand, candles, fake flowers (eek!), a red tablecloth, and a little birdie.

Also, not too long ago - Charlie recently peed on my bed. Yes, ON MY BED. On my new-ish comforter. Ugh - so annoying. I kicked her out of the bedroom because I was mad. She went into the living room, layed on the couch, and just looked at me. So I shut the door.

Then I did some research and found out that the vaccinations she had recieved several hours earlier can cause accidents. It can also cause dogs to drink a lot and then they have a problem completely emptying their bladder so they have to go often.

Needless to say - I felt horrible for being angry. But that doesn't change the fact that I have my nice comforter stuffed into the bottom of my closet. Charlie apparently feels a kinship with my nast comforter. Any time the closet is even cracked she sniffs the blanket. Gross, dog.

She looks so fat in that photo. Aw, my cute, fat pooch.

Monday, January 18, 2010


A couple weeks ago I did my first blog post since June of '09. It felt really good. It's a great outlet for me. I'm not a good writer as far as grammar goes. I can put into words how I feel or write about something I enjoy. But as far as correct spelling, punctuation, and word usage - I'm pretty horrible. As I'm sure you probably know (if you are a grammar genius).

I enjoy writing. I enjoy putting into words my experiences and emotions. I'm not terribly interesting or adventureous, but that's ok for me. This is my place to put "it" out there. To say what I want to say, though it isn't always what I really need to say.

I sat down at the computer, opened the blog, started a new post, and stared at a blank screen. As I started typing my first sentence I had no idea what would come out. But I feel like I said what I wanted to say - though I didn't know what I wanted to say until I said it.

Writing make me feel good. It lifts some of the burden from my own shoulders and (once again) puts "it" out there. I don't always have anything to write about...but I'm going to do it anyway.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

A Resolution

I never make New Year's Resolution. They always seem so fruitless and never seem to happen. So, for as long as I can remember, I haven't made one.

This year things are different. This resolution chose me. I didn't know it was happening until I was knee deep in it. Everything started about 3 months ago.

Things had been going great since the beginning of the school year when I finally chose to walk the path Jesus had defined for me instead of forging my own path (without success, of course). I decided I wanted to be a different person - a person who is true about their faith and doesn't just speak it, but lives it whole-heartily. It's been going great. I am building confidence in myself through Jesus' love and I am starting to feel alive again.

I just recently purchases a workout "game" for Wii. I also found this amazing church where I feel comfortable and so at home. My first week back at school was relaxing (even though the kids were crazy). That right there shows me that God is by my side in this fight. It seems like I'm starting to finally build myself into the woman I want to be.

Looking back on all of those things has shown me that God has chosen my path this year. He is starting me off on the right foot. So this year I've decided to follow his lead.

My resolution? To respect myself by taking care of my body and mind. To respect my spiritual growth by putting my faith in Christ and reading/learning/memorizing his word.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Oh Charlie's going to love me...

Charlie and I are going to the vet today. She has to get a rabies shot. Who knew that the puppy version of the rabies shot only lasted one year? I sure didn't.

But now I know - so now I have to do something about it. Dang it. When it really comes down to it, though - it's worth the $70 for the shot and appointment. Rabies is incurable once you get it and I cant imagine life without Charlie.

To give you a quick recap - Charlie and I started agility several months ago. She was great at it and I love doing it. It's exercise for her and me and we have a great time. But after taking the same course twice (she's not a delinquent, taking it multiple times is normal - I promise) I realized there is one important thing to work on: FOCUS.

We would get through 3 obstacles, maybe, and then her terrier nose took over and she was gone. The description for the class says it all:

"Do you envy other dog and handler teams that seem to work together in perfect harmony? (YES) Do you struggle to keep your dogs attention and keep him focused on agility or obedience? (YES) Do you have to fight to keep him on the course you want him to do? (YES) All these are due to a lack of focus and gaps in your foundation work."

Aside from the fact that Charlie is not a "him" that description describes my pup perfectly. I'm excited to begin our classes and see where it takes us.

It was horrible. Horrible for me and for Charlie. Horrible for Charlie because she gets all anxious and nervous at the vet (for example: whining constantly and pooping on the floor), which is probably why she got in a little scuffle while waiting to go in the room. It was also horrible because she had to get 2 shots.

It was horrible for me because I had to clean up the poop and watch her get 2 shots - plus, I had to pay for it. I think I'm more exhausted than she is.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Welcome Back to Me

I haven't blogged since June. I'm not sure why I stopped. Maybe it was because I was busy. Maybe it was because I was lazy. But I think that it was because I had nothing to write about. Life wasn't changing. Nothing was happening. Nothing was getting better. I was moving through summer in a coma - counting down the days til I had to go back to work...not in the "I can't wait" kind of way...oh no...I was counting in the "my downfall will begin in..." sort of way.

Things have changed a lot since I had those feelings. Last July I finally let God rule my life again. I had searched for a new job and cried for a new job. I was just trying to survive. Ever since I let Him lead me, I have found a new sense of purpose. I know that I am supposed to be at Lincoln. I am supposed to be teaching these kids and working with these teachers. I am supposed to be where I am.

Finally realizing that has helped me be a happier person. I feel hopeful - and I haven't felt that in ages. I feel like each day is a new day and each day goes so quickly (I never thought that would happen).

I'm doing my devotions. I'm praying more. I'm listening more. I'm believing in myself more. I'm self-confident (most of the time) and I'm loving the new me.

I truly feel new.

Wow - this felt good. I think I'll start blogging again.