Yesterday was horrible. My classes were off the wall and all I did was yell at my fifth grade. I came home and, unfortunately for Cricket, call her about her interviews. After she gave me the update on how things went, she asked me about school - the poor girl.
I then proceeded to whine: I'm tired. I miss suburban kids. These kids don't pay attention. They don't care. They don't learn. No one cares about what I do....blah blah bleck. What it came down to was that I was seriously questioning my place here. I was ready to find a new job at that very second.
God gave me the encouragement I needed. Today I had 2 classroom teachers tell me that their classes had never been this good for the other teacher. One of my bosses came to observe me and on the way in commented about the class just leaving. She said that they looked like they had turned things around, and that was just as she passed them in the hallway. She stayed for about 15 minutes of my class. I got an email from her that said things looked good and that I was setting the students up for success.
That all happened before 1pm. Around 3pm I finally got it - it finally hit me that I had just been bombarded with encouragement. Duh! Goodness - it took me long enough to figure it out.
I'm not saying all of this to toot my own horn. What it really means to me is that when I needed it the most God gave me exactly what I needed, even if I didn't get it right away. When I finally realized it, it felt like my heart rate and blood pressure went down, and then my deltoids relaxed (I like anatomy and physiology, so sue me). The point is - I felt a physical difference in my body. I needed that encouragment so badly.
I have been listening to a certain hymn lately. It's called "Trust and Obey." Boy, is that ever perfect for me right now. Take a gander at the lyrics.
When we walk with the Lord
In the light of his Word
What a glory he sheds on our way
When we do his good will
He abides with us still
And with all who will trust and obey.
Trust and obey.
For there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus
But to trust and obey.
But we never can prove.
The delights of his love
Until all on the alter we lay.
For the favor he shows,
Or the joy he bestows
Are for them who will trust and obey.
And in fellowship sweet
We will sit at his feet
Or we'll walk by his side in the way.
What he says we will do
Where he sends we will go.
Never fear, only trust and obey.
That song has been a huge help for me. I feel like we sang it in High Point, but now that I look at some of the phrasing - I wonder if I would have really understood it.